Helpful Life in Anecdotes, Part 3

Well if it’s any indication that my ultrasonic mouse deterrent is working, the mouse left a “thank you” dump right in front of it. Me typing all pissy to customer service chat box, “Can I please talk to a human being????” Chat box: “I am a human being.” Awwwwwkward. Changed into my suit in the swim locker room and granola fell out of my sports bra. Feel like a squirrel. What good is my chemistry degree when I can’t figure out how to get a hair dye stain off my mirror? Swim a mile in the pool, come home, can’t open the pickle jar. The always-high-as-f neighbor from upstairs is folding laundry in the communal laundry room in only his boxers while jamming to tunes from his headphones. I wanted to wash my clothes but it might be a sin to kill this vibe. I’m at a goodbye party for a guy and 10 minutes in, the guy Irish goodbyed. Everybody’s shocked or pissed off but I’m like…, “Nah…, I get it.” Where would my life be without random sidewalk encounters? Today I struck up a conversation with a dentist who invited me and my dog into his office and gave me a treatment for free on my TM joint. My mom: “Are you sure he was a dentist, Erin?” Me: “Not sure. But if he isn’t, it was quite the getup.” This afternoon, I went to get a manicure wearing a Dead tshirt. I was the only one there so it was nice. In walks a red-eyed, friendly, slightly high and/or drunk man who sits down next to me. He happens to be wearing a Doors tshirt. The only 2 customers in the place. As he was chatting away to the nice woman pulling out his cuticles, he turns to me and says, “Hey, I’m Roger. You have a band shirt and so do I! You have to be a special person to wear a band shirt to a place like this.” I smiled and looked away thinking, “Please don’t hit on me.” Then, because God has a sense of humor, Eric Carmen’s Hungry Eyes starts playing from the salon radio…and I had to use all my power to stare at the floor and not laugh myself into an asthma attack. Click here for Life inAnecdotes Part 2 And Life inAnecdotes Part 1.